Teardrops and Broken Hearts
by MrS.mOOny86
Summary: Tonks's pain. Set after OoTP, the relationship in HBP didn't happen. Highlights some of the relationship between Lupin and Tonks. Please Read and Review.
1. Chapter 1

AN: I found this story gathering some serious dust bunnies on my computer and decided to post it.

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or any of the characters mentioned in this story. I am currently raising money to buy them off J.K.R but have so far only raised enough for a sandwich off the dollar menu. Oh well I guess I will just have to keep saving… Anyway nothing here is mine but the plot. Blah blah blah. On with the story.

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Teardrops and broken hearts 

The beautiful girl with the heart shaped face sat huddled in the dark jumping every time the lightning would strike in the sky outside. Tears streamed down her face as she clutched a wizard photograph. Thinking back to the time when the photograph had been taken, momentarily made her smile…

_**Flashback**_

"Remus! Stop! Your going to make me fall!" And as if on cue Nymphndora Tonks tripped over her own feet and fell to the floor dragging Remus Lupin along with her! "OY! Tonks said rubbing her head checking for a lump. "Nymphorda are you ok?" asked a worried Remus. Moving to get off her with a sheepish look, his expression changed to one of shock when Tonks flipped him over and straddled him, then began tickling him in retaliation. "Ahhhh! Tonks, quit it! Hehehe" Remus giggled, struggling under a grinning Tonks. "No way Remus! Pay back's a bitch!" She laughed as he continued struggling against her attack.

Just as she was beginning to enjoy his torture he surprised her by flipping her to her back again. "Remus!" Tonks giggled as he assaulted her with wiggling fingers. "Please… I can't… breathe!" Tonks said out of breath from laughing. Her bright bubblegum pink hair switching to neon blue as she laughed. Her sides hurt from the continued laughing. And her face was flushed. Both were so distracted that neither of them noticed a giggling Ginny snap a picture of them laughing on the floor, and then run out of the library.

Tonks looked up into Remus's face and saw something in his eyes that she had never seen before. She saw love. For that brief unguarded moment in time Remus let her see how he really felt. Remus's tickling stopped as he looked down into the emotionally charged eyes of Tonks. And he saw what he had been feeling for all these months reflecting there. Remus leaned his face closer and softly pressed his warm lips to Tonks's. It felt like heaven to her. She was finally getting a taste of what she had been dreaming about, fantasizing about for almost the past year. Happiness could not describe what she was feeling. She was elated! They stayed that way until the sound of Molly moving in the hallway broke them apart. They glanced at each other and sprang to their feet. But unfortunately for them both, Tonks tripped over Remus's feet and sent them both tumbling to the ground, this time with Tonks on top of Remus, just as Molly walked into the library. The shocked look on Molly's face was enough to send them both into fits of laughter all over again. Sirius walked into the room then. Seeing his best friend on the floor with his cousin on top of him caused Sirius to begin laughing and run to the cabinet against the wall, to grab his camera. He snapped a photo saying, "this one's getting framed Moony! I don't know if I'll ever get the chance to blackmail you this way again!"

True to his word about an hour later, Sirius had the picture of Tonks laying on top of Remus framed and hanging on the wall in the library with a sticking charm on it so it could not be removed. And Remus did try.

Ginny's copy of the photo had become Tonks favorite possession. She kept it in the folds of her robes at all times. She loved to look at Remus's smiling face when she was feeling down. He always had the uncanny ability to make even the most difficult of problems melt away and to make her smile.

_**Return to present time**_

Tonks sat huddled in the corner thinking back to the time after that… They had finally been happy. All three of them for the briefest time had been, unmistakably happy. Tonks had Remus and her cousin. Sirius had not only a joyful Remus but he had plenty of blackmail from when ever he caught them snogging. (which truth be told had been quite often.) And Lupin not only had his best friend back and happy but he has a wonderful woman that cared for him. But then that night at the Department of Mysteries had changed everything. They had lost Sirius, and she had lost Remus… Well he wasn't gone really. But he was gone in every way that counted. He had gone on this "my life is not good enough for you, I'm too dangerous, I'm too poor for you, I'm too old for you," thing that pissed Tonks off to no end! He seamed to have a million excuses, but she didn't buy them. She knew that he wanted to be with her just as much as she wanted to be with him.

_**Flashback**_

"Why can't you just stop pretending and let me in?" Tonks cried as she looked at a haggard Remus. "Why are you pushing me away? We need each other most right now." She yelled. "Because I'm not good enough for you! You deserve so much more than I could ever give you." Remus yelled back. "Well you know what I think? I think that you are running scared!" She said. "How do you figure Nymphndora?" Remus asked. "I think you're pushing me away so you can't be hurt! You don't want to let anyone in just in case something were to happen to them. You don't want to go through what you went through with Sirius and James!" Tonks fired at him. "What would you know about it?" An angry Lupin yelled. "Your not the only one that lost Sirius! You may have had him longer but he was the only family I had left! This is a war and we need to keep those we love close to us! Please don't push me away! Do you just not care for me anymore?" She asked lowering her voice, tears streaming down her face. "Damn it Nymphndora! I do care for you! More than anything in the world. But I am not what you deserve! You deserve to have everything and I can give you nothing." Remus replied, defeated. "Remus I LOVE YOU! That is all I need. I don't care about money, and I don't care about how dangerous you perceive yourself to be! I'm an auror for Merlin's sake. I want to be with you! Please Remus." Tonks cried. "Please Dora, I'm not worth this! I do care for you. That is why I am leaving to follow the orders Dumbeldore gave me." Remus said cradling her face to his chest. "I have to go now." "Remus please don't go! I need you." Tonks cried clutching Remus's tattered robes. "Dora, please don't make this any harder than it has to be. I do care for you, but I am no good for you. Move on, find someone your own age." Remus said as he kissed Tonks one last time before he left.

_**Return to present**_

That night had been almost three months ago. Tonks sat in her darkened room at Grimwald place. The thunder crashed again and again. It felt as if the storm was over head. Mimicking the crashing of her heart.

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So… Now that you have read please review. Tell me what you think… ::ducks:: Are you guys done throwing yet? One more? OK go ahead… Are you done now? Good… So good? Bad? Ugly? Let me know. I was kind of thinking that I would leave this as a stand alone piece and just say that's that dusting off my keyboard. But depending on what you guys think I may continue. So enough of my rambling and such. Please review. 


	2. Chapter 2

AN: I still don't own Harry Potter and unfortunately got hungry and ate my 'buying Harry Potter from JKR' fund. Oh well. Enjoy chapter two…

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Over the next few months Tonks saw Remus on a few occasions. He would come to Grimwald place for Order business. Every time he would see her he would act completely detached, and seemed look through her without any trace of emotion. It drove Tonks crazy. She was so fed up she wanted to hex him! The few times she tried talking to him, he would always fall back to the same old argument of 'I'm too old, to poor, to dangerous'. Tonks would end up getting mad and then upset and Remus would always act as if none of this was important to him. Every time he would decline Molly's invitation to stay for dinner and leave directly after the Order meetings without so much as a goodbye it would break her heart a little bit more. Tonks was loosing herself. 

Tonks had always prided herself on not being one of those half witted females who would moan and complain if she didn't have a man. She was an independent woman after all. She didn't need any man to make her happy. Unfortunately that was before Remus. Because of his pigheaded stubbornness Tonks found herself spiraling downward into a deep depression. Tonks had even lost the ability to morph. Gone was the vibrant free spirited woman. Her appearance soon reflecting her mood was that of a plain featured girl with mousy brown hair and dark circles under her sunken in eyes.

One afternoon Tonks was coming into the kitchen when she overheard Molly talking to Arthur. "Arthur dear she looks terrible! I don't know how much longer she can stand this. It's torturing her. And she doesn't even know what exactly it is that Albus assigned him to do." Molly had whispered.

Tonks walked out from behind the door. "Oh Tonks dear I didn't see you there. Would you like some stew? It just finished simmering." Molly said with false cheerfulness. "Molly you might as well tell me. I know now that you know. So just spit it out. What has Dumbledore assigned Remus to do?" Tonks said in a resigned voice. She just knew that she wasn't going to like this. Molly seemed to be hesitating. "Molly. Where is Remus?" Molly shot a quick look at Arthur and wrung the dish towel in her hands. "Well sweetheart I think it would be best if Albus were to tell you." Tonks stared expressionlessly at Molly. "Oh okay, fine I'll tell you. I guess the time has come for you to know. Dear, Remus is living with a werewolf pack in the western mountains. He has been spying for Dumbledore and the Order, and has been trying to garner support for our cause. We need all the help we can get." Molly said with a distressed look at Tonks. Molly was deeply afraid of the effect that this news would have on Tonks. "So you mean to tell me that the man I love is living amongst a pack of wild wolves with no shelter and no friends to watch out for him, and no one felt the need to inform me of this!" Tonks shrilly asked. "I can't handle the secrets anymore. Why was this such a secret?" Arthur spoke up this time "Tonks, Remus asked us specifically not to tell you." Tonks looked up through tear filled eyes. "Why?" She softly asked looking at the Weasley couple. "Why would Remus want you to keep this from me?" Arthur and Molly looked back at each other again. Molly opened her mouth to answer when a voice from the hallway spoke, "Because I didn't want you to worry." Remus said stepping out of the shadows and into the kitchen. "Remus, I didn't know you were stopping by today." Molly said looking uncomfortably between the two lovers. "I was just dropping by to leave something for Dumbledore." Remus said not looking at Molly but keeping his gaze directly on Tonks.

"Why" Tonks said softly. No explanation was needed. Everyone in the room knew what she was asking. "Because I didn't want you worrying about me." Remus said. "Not worry about you! How in the blazes am I suppose to not worry about you?" Tonks asked coming to her feet. "I love you! Just because I didn't know what you were doing or where you were, doesn't mean I didn't worry. I probably worried more not knowing." She said stepping into Remuses personal space. "Well I am truly sorry to have caused you any undue stress Nymphadora." Remus replied in that infuriatingly placid tone. "Bloody hell Remus! What do you expect?" Tonks replied grabbing fistfuls of his robes. "I am going to worry about you until this damn war is over and you are safely home. And after that hell I will probably still worry. That's what people do when they care for someone. The worry for their safety and well being. "Well I don't want you to worry about me. I want you to find yourself someone your own age, someone who can take care of you. I want you to stop trying to sway my decisions." Remus said with a glare. Tonks it seemed had knocked some of his reservations off kilter. "Well to hell with that Remus! You have to know me better than that. If you think you can tell me not to love you and actually think it is actually going to work you need to go to St. Mungo's and get your head examined." Tonks all but shouted at him.

Cracks were beginning to show on Remuses expertly crafted façade. He glared down at Tonks and growled his frustration. Grinding his teeth he asked, "why do you do this to me and to yourself? I am not remotely good enough for you. I am a werewolf for crying out loud! Will you please just let this go?" Tonks stared at Remus, mouth open in indignation. She was so mad at him that her mousy brown hair had changed without her even noticing, to short fire engine red spikes. "Will you just stop with the 'I'm not good enough crap? You know what, yes you may have been dealt a terrible hand in life, but you have always made the best of it. You never complain about your position in life, you just take the abuse the world heaps on you as you're due. What happened to you was atrocious and no one should have to endure the injustice's you have been faced with but you are a wonderful man and deserve to be treated as such. I will not sit idly by as you spout off all the stereotypical nonsense you have been force-fed your entire life. I will not allow you to lump yourself into some foolish category like that. And furthermore…"

Tonks tirade was abruptly ended by Remuses lips crashing down upon hers. Her shock caused her jaw to go slack and Remus used the opportunity to slide his tongue into her mouth searching for hers. Tonks moaned and wrapped her arms around Remuses shoulders, pulling him down and trying to get as close to him as possible, caressing his tongue with hers. When the need for oxygen could be ignored no longer they pulled apart but remained close to one another. Tonks still had her arms wound around Remuses neck and was resting her head on his chest. Neither of them had noticed Arthur taking Molly's hand and pulling her from the room saying "Lets go upstairs and give these two some privacy mollywobbles."

"Remus what does this mean? Will you stop trying to push me away? Because I want you to know that it won't work and it will save us all a lot of…" Tonks was again cut off by Remuses lips pressing down upon hers. Kissing Remus was like coming home and Christmas morning all rolled into one amazing package. When he pulled away he was grinning and Tonks was frowning up at him. "You know you can't just shut me up whenever you want by kissing me Remus Lupin." Tonks said with a glare. "Why not darling? It seems to be working perfectly." Remus stated with an innocent expression. "Why you…" again she was cut off by Remus pulling her to him and kissing her. Tonks pulled away and said, "okay, fine, you win… this time" Then she pulled his head down and kissed him. Running her fingers through his hair and pulling his body as close to hers as possible. Remus ran his hands down her back to rest just above the waistband of her jeans. Pulling her to him he groaned and lifted his head. Eyes sparkling.

"So Remus, You never did answer my question. What are we going to do now?" Tonks asked holding him close as if afraid all of this was just a cruel trick of fate and if she let him go for even a moment he would vanish. "Now my dear Nymphadora, we are going to go upstairs and I am going to hold you close and tell you how much I love you, over and over again. Then after we are satisfied with that I am going to ask you to marry me and pray to Merlin that you say yes." Remus said. Holding his breath he looked down upon the beautiful face of the woman he loved. He watched as her hair faded from the bright red to a brilliant Safire blue that reminded him of the sea. With tears in her eyes Tonks looked up at him and smiled. "Oh Remus, I love you so much. I want nothing more than to become your wife."

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Thanks for taking the time to read my humble little story. 

So What did you think? Pretty please take a moment and review. It reallllyyyy makes my day.

Katie


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